Miyara Voices - Going through and surviving Uterine Rupture

Each parent goes through a gamut of emotions from the time of planning a child, conceiving, going through 9 months of pregnancy, and finally the d-day. No parent forgets the day their child was born even if it was an easy 3-hour labour or a more complicated one. And most often the underlying theme is that of not being prepared or expecting one step or the other on the way. Here is Rajeshwari Nagarajan, narrating her story of her labour that ultimately resulted in a uterine rupture.

My firstborn, a daughter, was born 11 and a half years ahead of her brother. That pregnancy, unplanned at the age of 23, resulted in a C-section.

I wanted a natural birth. I was always reading, keeping myself abreast of what to expect at the moment of "Labour and Delivery" - the exam I so wanted to pass with flying colours. I was young too, so it should have been a breeze like they show in the movies.. but no, it was not to be!

I have never known a more mysterious event, since human evolution, than labour and childbirth! So many stories (experience), so much advancement in science and technology, and yet there remains innumerable questions about a woman's body, the hormones at play, the muscles engaged, the sweet baby inside the elastic sac.

It bewilders me, saddens me, and at the same time humbles me, for no education prepares one to what truly lies at the end of the tunnel called pregnancy.

Back to 11 and a half years ago.. so, I never felt those excruciating pains I had read so much about, even after 41 weeks of pregnancy. Finally, I had to resort to surgery to meet my 3.75kg, cherubic little daughter.

Since I had clearly ‘failed’ the exam, I started retrospecting about what went wrong, what I did wrong. I decided that my failure was attributed to my anxiety in the last trimester leading to high Blood Pressure and a lot of pampering from everyone around. Of course, there were also fellow women who would mock me saying I did not try hard enough to make it a normal delivery. As a result, I convinced myself that my daughter did not force her way out because I happily ate and slept.

Due to this thought, though my husband and I wanted a second baby, we somehow put it away for as long as we could, citing financial stability, my health, his health yada yada.. and before we knew it 10 years had passed by. When we started approaching the subject of the second baby, anxiety crawled in, and again I desperately wanted to pass the exam. I should feel the contractions this time around, was my only thought. So, exercise, physical fitness, and not satisfying my gluttonous appetite became an objective. So what happened? A miscarriage at almost 8 weeks. Oh yes, I did achieve part of the aim - painful contractions!

Again, we put this whole 'another baby' idea off until I could mentally prepare myself again. And behold!

Just a month after the miscarriage, when I least expected it, I found myself in the pudding club.

"How did that happen!" was replaced by "Dear Oh dear, I am not prepared". When I came to terms with it, I was already deep in first-trimester nausea. I did not puke, no, not once. I was constantly running to the toilet to throw up during my first pregnancy. Though I felt nauseated by the weird smells, tastes, and sensitivities, this technically third pregnancy was so different yet similar!